Archive | June, 2010

How clean is your mouse?

30 Jun

Rodent hygiene program – emotional rollercoaster – Sues Perkins and Lawley to present

Whetting your eyepitite (like appetite for your eyes)

22 Jun

Pound and Vision – The works of Ezra pound read by David Bowie with accompanying visuals that are made for exactly one pound

Briers Patch – Richard Briers presents celebrity clothing repair reality show in which celebrities must repair clothes while sitting in thorny hedgerows. Adrenaline fuelled.

All Hands on (Ant and) Dec: Its, rum, bum and concertina as the lads get kidnapped by amorous sex-pirates. Dark Comedy

Bacon and Greggs. Frances Bacon gets a job in a popular high street bakery chain.

Williams-swap: Robbie Williams and Rowan Williams swap lives for a week – with hilarious consequences.

South of the river: Popular beat combo ‘The Beautiful South’ travel up the Amazon to find tribal artifacts, but their voyage becomes one of self-discovery.

May Fair Lady: In which James May teaches waifs and strays to speak proper and of course – how to repair classic cars.

Blessed by Brian : Hilarious sitcom or reality show In which Brian Blessed becomes the pope

Sherlock Chrome: In which Holmes and Watson become leaders of a fifties American car gang.

The Gay House; Like the Edwardian house but everyone in the family has to be gay. An insightful social experiment

The Jedwardian house: X Factor Spin off in which the big haired twins open a bingo hall

Don’t Date your Mother: Series in which a young up for it bachelor has to pick between three eligible women, one of whom is his mother dolled up like a tart. Fiona Bruce to host.

Band of Rubbers: In which a group of valiant men go and show people all over the world how to practice safe sex. The twist is that once they’ve demonstrated how to use a condom – it all gets a bit sexy. Nicholas Parsons to host.

Televisualisualise

22 Jun

Hi kids,

We’re Messrs Ken Bitchley and Dirk Frangipan. this is our brand new blog

I hope you’re ready to witness some revolutionary thought

we’re hip

we’re cool

we’ve got our fingers on the pulse of the nation

(our other hands are holding pieces of cake)

We’re willing to share with you our television program ideas – just too hot and edgy and dangerous and cool and yoouth for the channels that be.

au revoir

(thats french)

bye